wordflow

The Song of the Earthbound

(To the One who gave me life)

Wanting you
behind closed doors
my soul famished
my knees weak

through unknown channels
I call
each spiritual wave
echoing this silent need,
burning an incandescent torch
this want that lingers so
the song of the earthbound

when heat is so hot it freezes
and cold so cold it scalds
when joy is so great that tears come
the Heavens open
and I arise in a passion so deep
non-descript
far beyond words
propelling me towards You

yet I cannot go there
I have a vision of it
but flesh
the human heart and all it holds
the cells, molecules and atoms
tell a story of shackles
the heavy load of the earthbound

Humanity weighs me to a mere dot on the timeline
and clamorous
yet silent
I break
my head in my hands
wanting to be made One with You

You my Lord, above me
inside of me
outside of me

in every recess of that which makes me human
You and You alone
the food of the earthbound

and my throat becomes withered
no words are to be said between us
as I bask in Your presence
the silence behind these doors a witness to a prelude of Heaven
the hope of the earthbound

yet I know
time and flesh and earth
and all things tangible
creep around the corners
waiting to take You away

How I suffer my own humanity!
and how I regret You would have it like this

How I long to be held by You
in that everlasting embrace to set the earthbound free!

Take pity on this creature
bewildered and weak
who moves about like a beggar
stumbling
the dance of the earthbound

I know with every beat of my human heart
that earthbound is not eternity
but the stage on which Your will operates

till the day the curtain falls
and the last bow is taken
we the earthbound suffer our wretchedness
knowing that there are no shackles so strong
as to keep us from You
the joy of the earthbound


back to top

Uncover Me

(To all the incurable romantics and dreamers, to the one I wait for, wherever he may be)

As you lay down
your passion spent
the sweat dripping from your brow
your room becomes a lonely vault
encasing that which you dare not acknowledge

you realize you've given all
(and so many have fed on your soul
the wolves, the worshippers, the seekers, the blessed and the torn)
you've been made spilt humanity for them
the clockwork of your soul laid bare
as a stepping stone to bring them to the Cross

This is how it's meant to be
how He decreed it in your mother's womb
to be filled with passion bestowed only to a select few
and in your temperament lies the secret of your longing
the slow torch with which you burn

for on this bed
you are alone
understood by One
yet wanting to be made one* flesh with another
to drown yourself in waters that are not of your making

You thought no one would hear the echo
of your wanting heart
yet your irregular breath came like a whisper
traveling an unknown frequency
which lovers alone can hear
you beseeched and I answered

so you see,
I uncovered you long before you thought I would
and in this passion
I writhed in pain and called out to you
in the frequency of angelical despair
to be made one
the remnants of our souls

my half
your half
since our mother's womb Our halves

as we stare upon the Cross
in every bitter aftertaste
in every silent prayer
we ask to be made One

Oh yes, the ocean between us
but you heard me!
you wondered whether you would recognize my face
yet you knew it long before I thought you would

so I wait for you
to come to me
to discover me
to drown in warm waters
where I was made to soothe you
and you to complete me

Make haste and come to me
Make haste and know my name!

for I was given to you
when time was not yet time
but a thought inside our Father's will

Make haste and come to me
for I burn in your absence

Make haste my love and come
heal your wounds in the agony of my lips
in the sweet perspiration of my flesh
dwell in the secret of my hips
place your love like a crown atop my head
and claim what is rightfully yours

for I was made a precious stone for you
bought with blood**
born of water and spirit***
a ruby the likes of which you've only dreamed***


Make haste my love and come
for I whither without you
and you starve without me


*Genesis 2:24
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
(Whole Chapter: Genesis 2 In context: Genesis 2:23-25)

**you were bought at a price.
(Whole Chapter: 1 Corinthians 6 In context: 1 Corinthians 6:19-21)

***Ephesians 1:7
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace
(Whole Chapter: Ephesians 1 In context: Ephesians 1:6-8)

****Proverbs 3:15
She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.
(Whole Chapter: Proverbs 3 In context: Proverbs 3:14-16)


back to top

Unworthy

(A song of Love)

How I love You
I cannot say

through the misty-hue of hushed overtones
in the enveloping silence of my room
I pray to You and tell the ways of my affection

in the solitude of misunderstood souls
romping about in a carcass of flesh, blood and tears
I call out to You and tell the ways of my devotion

when the dawn breaks
and silver-orange fluff lays bare the sky
I seek You out in dreams, making known the need of You

I love You with such intensity
such depth in meaning
that understand it myself I do not

as the pain-joy of loving you floods my heart with silent longing
making visible the tears of adoration
this feeling I carry I can only express through liquid
there are no words between Us
just the irregular breath of too much emotion

for You
to see You
to hold You
to flow back into where I flowed out of

My God!
My Dwelling Place

I throw my hands around Your spiritual neck
and whisper in Your ear how much I adore my Beloved...


back to top

Good or Sometimes it's all just too LEGAL

(Brothers, I opened my eyes and saw that He was Good, that He was EVERYWHERE)

And I see Good at work
inside, outside
above and below

in-depth
out-of-depth

in dry land or in shore
in questions unasked
in too many answers
in all I ever was
in all I know and do not know

Good in everything
as signed by You
the seal of Your approval
from You unto Us
Unto You
a constant flow

If they'd only lose the blindness
see the Good
perhaps they'd know


back to top

Captive

You've called me by my name
and laid to rest the question of identity
holding me to Your chest
whispering words of love eternal

Clad me in the riches of the Spirit
and atop my head place a crown of sun
Stroke my hair and tell me I am lovely to behold

Your Love, vast like an ocean-dream,
binds me to your Will
making me Your captive


back to top

Art

(A song of composition and indelible colors)

Beautiful for You and You alone
In whispered words of heavenly rapture
the Hues and colors of Your warm embrace
A palate for You beyond all understanding
Encased in broken soliloquies of Spirit bound in Flesh

Art I offer unto You
Nothing if not Desire to float in Love made Liquid
rest on silver-orange Clouds of light
drenched in morning dew drip-dropping from Your fingertips
kissed by Spiritual Lips
while held in Arms of Stars and Night

I give You Art
The Art that You gave unto us
Brush-stroked images of gold and blue
Dawn and Sunset
Oceans and Skies
Celluloid, music, words and rhyme

Art is what You are to Me
Art is that which brings me close to You
Art is what I find whenever I look Deep enough
A lover's-claim You chose to make
A Passion such I can't forsake



back to top

In a Tragic Embrace

(A song of gratitude)

...and never in human history
has such a scene of Love
accepting and embracing her
been more compelling in it's tragedy
for should one take a deeper look
two pierced wrists would be seen
holding her to His chest
as she,
the responsible for the deed,
shines bright in His eyes

The beautiful tragedy of Love
is One willing to give All
to hold an Unworthy close


back to top

Tangible

(A song of Love and Hope)

With every ounce of will
you became real to me
as real as three-dimensional hope
conjured after a dream
I longed for you to know me
to know that I exist
and in this knowledge
long for my longing
long for my reality

then we'd long together
in a world of dreams as solid
as all the tangibles that surround us


back to top

Santiago

(A song of steel and concrete)

It's more like pain
What lies inside
Such strong eagerness to go
Beyond concrete and steel
Where You are
To travel the sound waves
Like the remnants of all the music
all those city boleros
You instill upon my soul

It's more like a hollow aching
Inside my chest
Nameless, devoid of terminology
A poem not yet finished
Walking forgotten streets
Clinging to iron gates
Words of flesh-cement written on my heart

It's more like an silent scream
This torrent flowing through me
Specks of half-lights and half-darks
Seen through the veil of dirty windows
Impoverished districts where the outcast dwell
Making graffiti of blue and gray
As a masterpiece to my soul

It's more like a urban mantra
I want to dwell here no longer
Among the ruin of a city not meant for me
These feet bound to the ground
Weighing me to all things human
An Ocean of concrete between me and my Lover

Santiago de Chile
Sweat and salty tears
The blood and the dirt
Of cement and forgotten dreams


back to top

Saved

(A song of Salvation)

I danced the waltz of my soul
while held in arms of sky
shrouded by rays of light
You whispered "I love you"
and Your scent was intoxicating


back to top

Psique

(A song of innocent Love)

As I regard you
From the distance of the flesh
A tacit understanding runs through me
And I see that You Are
in Me
My eyes
My voice
My blood
My tears

A Lover's haste demands
That I go to You
and be rid of the pain-joy
of incandescent want
and solitude among a thousand crowds


back to top

Pandemic

(A song of Despair)

A sojourn into the dark of despair
as I come before You
attired in unclad longing
and guilt-ridden monologues
offered as penitence to the vast of Your soul

yet time and time again You refuse me

And I wonder whether madness made its way
into the recollections
the very second
You intruded upon this life with a promise everlasting?

Where are You now?

Do I not bleed in Your silence?

Is flesh not mortal
that You should wound it this way?

Is Spirit not quenchable
that You decree to smother it out?

Is the soul nothing more than a fable
a paradigm to explain emotion
when Science fails in the contemplation of humanity?

Perhaps my soul means nothing to You now
a mere fairy-tale of Hope and Love
thought to have been found

Where are You?
when pandemic despair creeps into my blood
infecting me whole?
When every ounce of strength has left me
and not even David's harp is enough to soothe
the assault of emotion so haunting
it writhes knee-deep in frost and void

*******************

Here You have the last Worshipper
clinging to the edges of Your robe
a speck of faith
(tinier than a Mustard seed)
as a holocaust to Your grace
in hopes that You might turn and know her

Beholding the rough edges
of deceit and sin
You would not turn away
but sing to her

a song of Salvation
the song of my soul

**************

Where are You my beloved?

to one such as I
a moment's parting is the ruin of a lifetime
and a bitter taste to sour eternity

Where are You my sweet?
Did I sin against You and not know it?
Is Your silence an unspoken phrase to complete the tragedy
of wanting and being refused?

Are my deeds so heinous as to make You flee?

But You knew!

I bathed in the secret waters of the womb
And You knew they were nothing if not mud
to soil me perpetual

You knew the one You saved!

and where You saved her from...

So refuse her not, my Lord

though attired in unclad longing
and guilt-ridden monologues
she still clings fast to the edge of Your robe


back to top

More of You

(A song of longing)

More of You my sweet
More of You

is all I've ever known

in every heartbroken whisper
in every scalding desire
in every guttural cry from a disenchanted throat
More of You

in every recess of me
a broken soliloquy of flesh and pain
More of You

in every shattered hope
in every dull morning
and every dusk-filled solitude
More of You

More of You
A flesh-imprisoned soul
calls out
under the cloth of dimly lit night
More of You!

You hear and leave Your Throne
making haste to your beloved

You

and your creation falls silent
under the soothing touch of your fingertips
More of You is real

Indelible colors radiant in their eternity

All of You
is all I've ever wanted


back to top

Enamorada

(A song once sung, retouched to be sung again in tune to What I know now)

Were I a speaker of many truths
holding the key to wisdom
Were my knowledge vast like an ocean
of novel words and ideas
Had I the respect of many an audience
the love of infinite crowds
and followers many
laying their trust in the palm of my hand...

I would never give up the experience of You
the knowledge of You

Never would I renounce every second made precious
as contrary to wisdom as it may seem
and as hateful when opposed to the love of mankind
and all its passing glory

Alone I may stand and misunderstood
Call me as you will
call me foolish
call me pitiful
call me cursed and weak

but above all things
call me in Love


back to top

Answer-Seeking Girl

A song of impotence as my throat cries out
why Oh Dearest why?

Of all those waiting to be called
I?

A song of impatience as my heart grows weak
when Oh Dearest when?

Should the moon and sea collide
Then?

A song of question and unbelief
How Oh Dearest how?

In all the cringing fear inside
Now?

A song for the road few travellers take
But where Oh Lord where?

To the center of Your perfect will
There?


back to top

Afraid

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

William Butler Yeats, Aedh Wishes For The Clothes Of Heaven

Had I the chance my sweet
I would flee from this possibility of you

The redolent prelude of a lover's kiss
shrouded incognita
of what is to come
will I find redemption in your lips?
will you be my last heartbreak?

A soliloquy rendered in the solitude
of my mind's hopes and dreams
over and over again
repeated in everlasting seconds
my voice within the silence
weighing the odds
daring to believe
and cringing at the thought

And ever so softly
the Egregious flame deep within
continues to grow
waiting to devour me whole
this want
this will to surrender

Refrain from tearing this soul into pieces!

For once I am asunder
who will put me back together?
who will feed my emasculated soul?

Embittered
and oh so weary
I will lay me down
remnants of the diamond-eyed woman
whose laugh resonated
deep within your pupil;
the Egregious flame a dying ember
pitiful ashes beneath your footsteps

And how violently they echo as you close the door behind you!

Oh yes my sweet, had I the chance

I would flee from this possibility of you...


back to top

Mackenzie's Song

(To the lovely girl who inspired this one)

A summer's eve and your starched apron
the cry of a lone wolf as it made its way into the woods
soft humming winds that beclouded your hair as it playfully danced around my fingers
your smile sparkled white in your naivete
the smell of the earth was overwhelming
the light of the dying dusk enveloping
you beseeched and I came to you
I could have lost all I owned right then and there
I wouldn't have given a damn
but as we slowly parted
my withering soul yearned to die for all that beauty was lost on me
and I've never felt as lonely as I did in your arms that day


back to top

Marcos

(to my Dad)

I would like to remember you Marcos
In the pinnacle of your days
When the Hellenic mouth distilled the honey of the wise
And you were a paragon of Achilles himself

I drink your memory like laudanum
To soothe the pain of not holding you close
It insists on corroding to the gut
And leads me to solitary landscapes
Where scarce is the mandrake and the nightingale sings not

I remember you
As the proverb of my tongue
The meditation at dawn and the sunset prayer
An Oberon in the woods of my dreams

Will you ever know the number of gardenias I picked
As a holocaust to your smile?
Without asking but to dwell among the creases of your eyes
And be the metaphor of your lips

I also remember Marcos
Your hasty departure
In the climax of the times
that like a crown your gray hair wore
And in culmination of the Ramadan I conjure your memory

I am the Blood of your Blood and the medulla of your bone!

In the dawn of my day I called you Father
Now only the absence of your name lingers
Like a stubborn fog that shrouds this emptiness


back to top

Sorry Muses

The soft candlelight caressing your face
is but a sour prelude to a Sorry Muse
of never-known creases that live amongst your eyes
and inexplicable freckles on your nose
the exact color of your pupils will remain a mystery
The ruffling of sheets as you wake
unfathomable like the warmth of lying on your chest
a cabbalistic ritual
known only to Sorry Muses
the softness of a gentle kiss laid bare upon your forehead
will be lost on her and the voices echoing in your room
will remain a dream-like memory
manufactured in a time that wasn't time
but hope almost three dimensional
the tender words whispered in her ear
the hands the legs the laughter
the sweat the fear the tears
All portraits hung on imaginary walls
in the house of sorry-muse souls
You shall remain but a fantasy
a could-have-been-but-never-was
and the magic will linger as a stab in your stomach
every time you should see her
nameless memories will make you sigh
the cause unknown and you will frown
A disease named after her
the Sorry Muse of a dream you didn't dare

The soft candlelight as it caressed your face
I saw the creases and the freckles
my fingers yearned to trace them
but Sorry Muses are inflammable
their wings burn should they fly too close
to candles non-existent


back to top

Girl Amiss

(For K)

The night will have its bitter whim
a poem of sleepless stanzas
awake and raw it wears you thin

Effulgent blaze this hurt within
your soul is slowly melting
while open wounds gangrene your skin

Painful echoes of deceit and sin
as you bleed his silent verses
a requiem sung for girl amiss


back to top

Cry for The Beats

Howl She said
to no one in particular
Ginsberg's dead
the pain is but articular
the joints will not allow
this mourning hand to write
Alan Ginsberg died
he passed away last night
sad vestige of what he was
a beat up life what he became
Howl is glory
but Ginsberg's dead
the hand has withered becoming plain

On the Road she cried
to anyone who'd hear
Kerouac died
a bottle was found near
the town and the city have ceased to be inspiring
pity after pity
this pain is rather tiring

Queer she called out
to a huge hoard of bystanders
Burroughs has died
you literary philanderers!
Surprised they turn to stare
at this idealist girl
the beats died long ago
bid them all farewell

Tired of reciting
she chooses to leave
let someone else do them justice
let someone else look bereaved

Her muses are gone
leaving nothing but questions
hallucinations of a past
she'd rather not mention
And so it ends here
the road and her quest
She leaves with her books
for the Beats are all dead



back to top

In Vain

These times may pass and be but a memory
when we're reduced to dust
but what of the imprint of a fleeting smile
or a furious roar of a hearbeat making us weak?
I'd like to think this will linger, timeless
amongst a multitude of stars
If they ask who you were
I will tell them
For no matter how many mistakes I've made in life
I've felt and through these feelings
lived and preached
surrounded by the very essence of that which the poets speak of
with such ease
I now have nothing to envy Bequer
or even Yeats
For this too was was mine and oh how mine!
a personal soujourn
inside the depths of that which reminds us,
when all is said and done,
that we continue to be
all too human


back to top

The End of Ironbound (for Hugo Dos Santos)

The silent echoes of its voice
Prickes my skin laid bare
by metaphors and similes
a grateful price I'd pay
the blood and nudity
just to stand in the Ironbound
once again
and listen to its secrets
ever so quiet
it whispers
just between me and the Irounbound
a throbbing pain adorned by a thousand words
an abstract place
where female curves once told a story
and the pen became a lover
the city poet wandered
and the reader followed lost in mist-hue dreams

Yet it is no more
the Ironbound
and a thick fog hangs over its streets
clad in yearning
bathing the sidewalk in silvery nothingness

Farewell the Ironbound
the only place I suffered what was never mine


back to top

To Forget is a Religion

To Forget is a religion with thousands of believers
It has its own doctrine
It admits worship and holocausts
And it encourages pilgrimage
So many followers does this religion profess
that a purgatory has been created
where Hymns are sung
in tribute to torches still carried
or to the sorrow of withered hips
The devout beat their chests and crawl to the altar
penitent and offering prayers
But the rosary is seldom long enough
to all those seeking redemption
from the hell of too many memories


back to top

The PMS Poem

P athetic I stand before my mirror
Pitiful remains of the woman she was but a week ago

M ania: elated one day, cringing the next
Life is not worth living she tells herself as she wipes the tears from her eyes

S ighs and more sighs I cannot seem to control
All her words have turned into melancholy emissions of her bitterest self

Will no one save me from these cursed hormones?
She gags in silent despair as she slowly closes the bathroom door

There is nothing left behind but traces of her own self pity...


back to top

Dignity

He thought she had cried that other night
candlelit hues refuse to lie
unclad sorrow bathed in light

He thought she had cried this he could swear
a sob was heard but there were sparrows
the dawn breaking in the summer air

He thought she had cried but he let it go
the memory dwindled and slowly faded
with uncried tears he'd never know


back to top

The Farmer's Daughter

A smiling moon
a windy june
two lonely hands
ten sweet demands
a lover's haste
her life to waste
the smell of hay
the light of day
her honor lost
a well-know cause
a lover's flight
a young girl's plight


back to top

Dictatorship of the Lonely Flesh

And when the the dusk seduces
she separates the flesh from the flesh
and the secret flesh within
moist
trembling
beckons impatient fingers
urgently she comes
delirious
and softly gasping
wrapped in feverish sheets
Bittersweet guilt
as she tries to soothe flushed cheeks
and in vain to clean wet thighs
Pleasure will leave her in shackles
bound by a loathsome dictator
The Lonely Flesh


back to top

Soldier's Song

Bound and gagged yet not forsaken** trodded down hurt yet never taken** He walks on must reach the border** the dawn is dusk the day gets older** the village folk are pleased to find** his scars and stiches worn with pride** remains of battles fought and lost** yet never fearing for the cost** let him sleep and let him rest** prepare the table for the fest** the border's close he should be leaving** the woman's flowers the kiss recieving** the soldier knows he's all too jaded** the flowers die their colors faded** a battle to find that which eludes him** a battle to find the one to soothe him** if he believed perhaps he'd stay** until then he'll seize the day** to the border he must go** the call of duty this he knows** left right left they all move on** just another soldier's song


back to top

Writhing Hollowness of Love Unrequited

The words fail me now my love
grammar has ceased to exist
phonetics are but annoying and language means nothing
it has left me void
not a metaphor to conjure for you
not a hyperbaton to construct
except for the writhing hollowness of Love unrequited

The words fail me now my love
a heartbeat and pain in my stomach
when reminded of those lips I'll never kiss
the hips you'll never know
the gasps, the salient torrent of a lover's pleasure
all this beauty lost on you
laid bare in a casket
as it waits to be buried
yet a pain in my womb and a silent euology
for the child you'll never father
echoes the writhing hollowness of Love unrequited

The words fail me now my love
they are but a ghost psalm
a tune hummed in farewell to my continuous quest
for new stanzas and novel verses
heavenly arrangements I once devised
to write the song of your soul
I dance to the music of permanent longing
and partake of this agony, the writhing hollowness of Love unrequited

The words fail me now my love
like they've failed me before
they were nothing then as they are nothing now
only the dying reverberation
of one last guttural scream
protesting against a painful sojourn
in the writhing hollowness of Love unrequited


back to top

Wonderland

A little while longer
let me lie in Wonderland
reality too poignant
sharp-angled and black
in contrast to sheets of satin dreams
this is where I remain
in Never-Never Land
dining with poets and idealists
sharing wine with those who've made fantasy their mistresses
naked and vulnerable in secret corners
and deserted alleys
sharing a moment's lovemaking
their words their flesh
their extasy the birth of a new page

Call me the Poet Laureate of hallucinary landscapes
and forgotten continents
Call me the Master of Ceremonies
in this banquet of un-named desires
When I've had my share
and the music is no longer
the wine non-existent
and the conversation meaningless
then I go back to reality
only to conjure up new feasts and entertainment
the mind's delight
the author's escape
in this world of dying poetry
and forgotten dreams

Call me the mastermind
of this, the rebellion of the souls


back to top

No Apologies

Do I seem an apostate to you?
Renouncing etiquette for the workings of my soul?
I'd never trade passion for apathy
honesty for manners
a gut-wrenching scream for silence

Apologetic for who I am?
what I feel?
the beauty of words as opposed to stifling aphasia...
perhaps that would suit you best:

a mask

No, my sweet
this creation was never intended for silence
but for the pursuit of joy

Should joy mean to undo what is done
wreaking havoc along the way
then I choose it
a thousand times I'd seek it

and in the end you would be grateful that one such as I chose to love you
a brief recess from the weariness of everyday hypocrisy

For a hypocrite, I never was


back to top

Requiem

I put the dreams to rest,
a casket of the deepest blue
And as I say farewell to this current agony;
the memories come flooding
trodden down my heart has been
once too many a time
yet they were mine, these dreams:
pitiful, eager to die out of weakness
but mine nontheless
the hollowness
the tragedy of them all
Say a requiem for these fetus dreams
dead and buried before they even breathed
a silent prayer for what could have been

And the earth is thrown atop the casket
Hollow resignation rings its bells


back to top

On Shooting Stars, Shelf-life, Muses and Treaties

Your image is slowly fading
and Love Unrequited is not for me
Somewhere 'neath heaven's dark linen
I'll find me a shooting star
a simple gadget to take your place
and keep my fingers busy

For the shelf life of a muse
I've found to be painfully short
it hurts me to the core
but sweetheart...
I am not one to wait forever
I don't have that much time

The poets gathered at a conference of souls
and decided
"muses should be eternal"
but the lonely rose in arms
a coup d'amour
And on a warm June night
with heaven's dark linen as witness,
a peace offering:
one million shooting-star possibilites
to keep their fingers busy
the treaty was signed
the muses given an appropriate shelf-life
and off it went to the museum of WORDS EVERLASTING
(a handsome structure in Never-never land)
See the treaty encased in glass
short of words, lengthy in meaning:
Love Unrequited can cause premature death of the soul.
Signed: Poets, Dreamers, Idealists and Incurable Romantics
Need it say more?


back to top